Goblin Stoary

by Dani House

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about

"The definitive story of a goblin in modern America, that's exactly what you'll find in Dani House's 2014 album Goblin Stoary. His roots really reveal themselves in this effort; from the goblins' initial arrival on Earth from planet Trinity at the dawn of humanity, to the discriminate struggles throughout the middle ages -which led to the formation of factions, differing by their tolerance and willingness to blend with humanity-, to House's own life and claim to his almost entirely extinct faction known as The Goblin Court. It's all here, and it's all for you in all its goblinpunk glory." - Robert Christgau

"And I thought I could perform miracles!" - Jesus Christ

credits

released 17 October 2014

All songs written, performed and produced by Dani House*
*Tracks 4, 8, and 16 performed with Andrew Swain
*Tracks 6, 11, and 18 performed with Jared Andrews, who wrote 11
*Tracks 10, 21, and 22 performed with Dee Plessma
*Track 13 sung by Adam Gilbert who wrote lyrics
*Tracks 14, 21, and 22 feature Kirsten Leins

tags

license

all rights reserved

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Track Name: Rock n Roll Piss Kid
I ain't no rock n roll man
I'm just a rock n roll piss kid
Piss here, piss there, pissin' everywhere
Nobody needs a piss kid

Doughnut glazing my genetics
Overdose on diarrhetics
Does it fix my fix?
Well I don't think so, but who can say?
I double-fist a fish bowl
Full of antacids from Istanbul
But is it critical?
Well I don't know, ask me later

-Chorus-

Radio signals molting my exoskeleton
And I could show you what's beneath
But I don't want to
'Cause no one wants a rock n rolling
Rabid pissing on the ceiling
Burger stomping goblin of a kid in their bed 'cause-

-Chorus-
Track Name: Jacking Off @ Area 51
I'm driving through Nevada in a blue Range Rover infiltrating Area 51
Use of deadly force is authorized,
But my purpose is worth getting shot on sight
Got to stop the car where the mine field starts
And slip my jet-pack on over my strong-ass arms
I've got a burning desire to see some UFOs
and I better find them soon before my dick explodes

Tell me tell me now that you wanna believe
As my pants drop down past my quivering knees, and I'm-
Jacking off at Area 51

Take the elevator down a million feet underground
Met J-Rod in the hall, he talks with his mind
He tells me that there's spaceships in the next hangar down
I'm undoing my belt I'm so close now
We're walking up the ramp when J-Rod says
These things can make a cup of coffee that'll blow your mind
And my dick's so hard that I can hardly see
So I toss my pants out the window and let it free

Now he's calling up his alien pals on speed dial
We bust out the glowsticks and jungle juice
I pull this beat right out of my fucking ass
Now it's a jacking off party as we all join in
We're jacking off at Area 51
Jacking off at Area 51
Bareback jacking off at Area 51
Jacking off at Area 51 (a million more times)

Majestic 12
Track Name: Goblins In The Street
Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
Goblins wearing pizza sandals on their feet
Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
We're stomping on your porch and we're waiting for you

Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
We're taking over Main Street and yours is next
Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
You're either with us, or we'll puke on your kids

Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
We're eating all your food while we sit on you
Goblins in the street, goblins in the street
Goblins in the street you better run
Track Name: Light Years
All my lights are hanging low
We're just stepping on their glow
But there's some things I know
I'd rather just walk off
I'm light years from home
Wipe me off of your window
I wonder what you'd find
If you'd pick this lock of mine

It's so cold inside
I'm tangled in your blinds
The glare I'm in's too bright

Allow me to explain
Or at least disintegrate
I'll just drive til I'm lost
A receipt you should just toss
I'm light years from home
As I talk to this pay phone
I wonder what you'd find
If you'd pick this lock of mine

I'm fading in the noise
I'm sleeping with your voice
The midnight traffic sighs
It's so cold inside
I'm tangled in your blinds
The glare I'm in's too bright
Track Name: Cumulonimbus Mouth
Time it sticks in your back like a knife
Pull it out with the cobwebbed blood you'd find
And go out bleeding smoke, like you're a goddamned machine
'Cause it's a fine day to feel like a factory
And I've been nothing but trouble, but I'll find another ride

I've got time and nothing but time
And that's what's killing me
I've got no eyes and nothing to see
I've got time and nothing but time
And that's what's killing me
I've got no mind and nothing to fear

Beam me up with your cumulonimbus mouth
And spread the dark where all our souls go South
You make me scream the smoke that now flows through these veins
'Cause it's a fine day to be the only one you hate
And I've been nothing but trouble, but I'll find another ride

-Chorus-
Track Name: I Like To Feel the Way
Wicked is the way I know my heart
The radio's awake all night
I like to feel the way you make my heart inflate like balloons and POP
It takes too many days to make a life
I've wasted so many already
I'd like to take you back through all those days
In a time machine BLAST OFF

Leaking from the sink on paper snow
Swallowing the ink that never shows
Jujube fish leap out as we sail by
And sink in a bathyscaphe
Jelly-filled's the way I know my heart
We like to stay awake all night
I like to feel the way you fill my heart
Track Name: Voodoo Drums
I can hear the beating of the voodoo drums
Echoes in the cemetery spirit in my lungs
In my lungs
Rung by rung
I was just a young man, seventeen years old
Enemies from overseas dropped down and laid me cold
Rest my soul
Dig my hole
Gather 'round the graveyard children of the night
Sit Indian-style around the evil campfire light
Back to life
Back to life
No more rigor mortis, no more rotting flesh
Puking up formaldehyde and maggots from my chest
Track Name: He Stole My Neck Size
Butterballin' Beanie Baby stuck to my shirt
A single straining finger banging tropical flirt
I triple flip a nipple fucking son of a gun
Who tried to drive a stolen Beetle to the applesauce sun
He stole my neck tie and he wore it to work
He stole my neck size and now I look like a jerk
Track Name: Case of the Mondays
I'm on my way, on my way
I'm so excited to start my day
I like Fran at the front desk
I like John and Michael, they're the best
But that's not why I got a case of the Mondays

I love my boss, love my boss
He calls me Hoss, he's a good boss
He's a great leader, he hates cheaters
He loves me and I love him
He's my one and only bossy man

I get to the office about 8 o' clock
See my dad there picking the bathroom lock
We work together, I'd work with him forever
but that's not why I've got a case of the Mondays

I love my boss, love my boss
He's from the South, he loves my mouth
He's my Dad's boss, but I'm his hoss
He takes me by the hand, he understands
I love my boss.

I'm typing up a storm on my Macbook Pro
Boss comes by my cubicle and says let's go
We walk together into his office
And talk about business, business

His grey hair feels so good in my fingers
and I love the back and forth of our banter and zingers
But that's not why I've got a case of the Mondays

I loved my boss, I loved my dad's boss
He got fired today, the first Monday of May
Turns out we never really worked there
Don't know how we got paid out of thin air
But it doesn't matter much to me
I just wish I left before my boss
So on my references he could've said, "I love you."
Track Name: Late-Night Milkman
The street lights burning
All along the path to your porch
But not as bright as the fire
In my heart that's making my hands sweat baby
You know I skip your house on the morning route
And you wonder why

I'm your late-night milkman
I'm gonna give it to you
And you're gonna give it right back to me
If you know what I mean

My temperature's rising as I step up to your door
I hope you like your milk warm honey
When you bring it to bed
But an engine's humming
Now your husband's home from a business trip in Columbus
He takes me in his arms and whispers
Can't a couple of guys share milk on a Tuesday night?
And he takes me up to your sofa
Having a man to man milk date naked while you're sleeping

I'm your late-night milkman
I'm gonna give it to you
And maybe your husband
'Cause I'm that kinda dude
I'm your late-night milkman
I'm gonna give it to you
And you're gonna give it right back to me
If you know what I mean
Track Name: Blanket Man
Remember when you were a doll
Asleep in puddles in the hall
You never dared to stir an inch
The creaks approaching down the steps
The blanket man is everywhere
His face like looking through thin air
I never know if he sees me
Or what his intentions must be

Living it alone
Leave it alone

The leaky sink is how he speaks
It sinks into me as I sleep
I never must pick up the phone
He steals you in the dial tone
Oh blanket man why is it me you seek?
Track Name: Please Don't Ask (I Get Drunk)
I get drunk in the morning
I get drunk well before noon
I get drunk just to fall asleep
And just to wake up too
I get drunk in the bathroom sink
Taking shots out of my shoes
Please don't ask why I get drunk
It's all because of you

I get drunk on the neighbor's roof
And fall into their pool
I get drunk wherever I can
'Cause that's my only rule
It's the only rule that I've ever known
To always get me through
And maybe if I had been drunk
I'd never have loved you

So if you find me in the sandbox
Half buried in my puke
I'll probably tell you it was just for fun
But that's far from the truth, because-
I get drunk in the morning
I get drunk well before noon
I get drunk just to fall asleep
And just to wake up too
I get drunk in the bathroom sink
Taking shots out of my shoes
Please don't ask why I get drunk
It's all because of you
Track Name: Nyquil Fiend
Lyrics by Dani House and Jared Andrews

(Dani)
Lovey-dovey pizza money melting my jeans
Lucky stomping monkeys with a skeleton key
Will you still text me when I'm dead in the fridge?
Sloppy Joe leftovers sleeping under the bridge
(Jared)
Skull full of soup, broccoli and cheese
I am the dead and I do what I please
Peanut butter crunch and sweet gasoline
I am the ghost who's caught in between

I'm a Nyquil fiend

(Dani)
Shopping for a TV made of hamburger meat
So that I can baste it in my Gameboy grease
Laughing gas cigarettes filling my trunk
With the rubbernecking never-neighbors' leftover spunk
(Jared)
Letter in the mail, number on the door
Symbol in the sun that one can't ignore
Planetary scum, imaginary drum
Beat on the chest and the rest shall come

I'm a Nyquil fiend
Track Name: Closet Full of Horseradish (Live)
The ceiling's dripping old blood
Pouring gasoline in the coffee machine
My feet are much too heavy
The carpet needles pumping soy sauce in my socks
Hear the closet groaning
Like a mammoth stomach full of Elmer's glue
Slowly turn the handle
And drowning in a horseradish tidal wave

Sandpaper blisters in my pulsing head
Transfuse Robutussin in my water bed
Catapult me back to where I come from
Just aim for any star with an open bar
The room is trying to spin
But I can spin faster
Somersault to suicide on a swollen Saturn
Point your blowdryer at my face
And blow me away from the human race